


Caught up in the spotlight, shaking from the stage fright.

by lumoon33



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, From hate to love, Grinding, Kissing, M/M, Smut, but read it anyways, i didnt sleep just to finish it, i dont know how it ended up being so long, malum, oh and riding, so read it please, the smut is really bad, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:11:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumoon33/pseuds/lumoon33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Malum AU where Michaels a famous singer and known to "womanize" but he starts dating a guy named Calum so it will look like he doesn't use hurls, but ends up actually falling for cal."</p><p>Basically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught up in the spotlight, shaking from the stage fright.

**Author's Note:**

> I usually don't write AU fics, I don't like them, but I read this on tumblr and this idea got stuck in my head and I needed to write this down. I hope this doesn't suck.
> 
> I want to dedicate this to Vanessa, whereshiphappens on tumblr, becuase the prompt was sent to her and her amazing drabble inspired this story (you should read it http://whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/post/92695636653/malum-au-where-michaels-a-famous-singer-and-known-to).
> 
> English isn't my first language, sorry for the mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy! x

Right now, Calum hates his life.

He hates not having money, he hates his mom's shitty job, he hates his sister for not being a little more responsible and get a job instead of spending all their little money in parties, he hates his dad for leaving when he was just a child.

Right now, when he's sitting at that desk, facing his new contract and holding a pen in his shaky hand, he hates his life more than ever.

But he needs the money. His family needs the money. And there're a lot of zeros written down in that paper.

So he looks up at the man that's gonna be his boss, he looks at his fake grin and his hard eyes, and he takes a deep breath before signing with his eyes closed.

A few minutes later, when his new "workmate" enters the room and smiles cheekily at him.

Calum already regrets his decision even before it all even starts.

 

\----

 

A hour later Calum is in the same room, sitting on the same chair, but now it's not his boss the one who's sat with him, it's his "workmate", who is still grinning at him with that cheeky smile that's making Calum want to punch him in the face, and they're supposed to get to know each other.

"What do you want to know about me?" his "workmate" asks, and Calum rolls his eyes.

"Actually, I already know everything about you" he smirks when the other guy rises an eyebrow and keeps talking "Your name's Michael Clifford, you're a world famous singer who gets drunk a lot and fucks a different girl every night and you need a way to clean your image. That's why I'm here, to be your fake boyfriend and pretend that you're a little more decent than what you truly are" Calum stops and looks up and down Michael's body "You're pretty disgusting."

Calum had expected to hurt him a little, erase that annoying smile of his face at least, but Michael just keeps looking at him with the same carefree expresion.

"You already know me well, then. It seems like you've been searching information about me or something" he says and his voice sounds proud and Calum wants to punch him again "Tell me something about you."

"What if I don't want to" Calum replies. He knows he is being childish, but he wants to make Michael upset somehow. That relaxed and amused expression is getting to his nerves.

Michael just rises both of his eyebrows.

"You know, I can call Richard and tell him to fire you right now. And I can assure you that he would obey me."

Calum's hands curl into fists and he sinks his nails into his own skin, trying to take deep breaths and bite his tongue. Because he knows that Michael is right, and even though he already hates this guy and wants to yell some things at him, he needs this job.

"My name's Calum and I'm 18. I have a sister. No dad. I like dogs."

Michael's smile falls a little then, and Calum mentally congratulates himself, even though he doesn't even know what he said to make that smirk fade.

"What happened with your dad?" Michael asks, curiosity notable in his voice.

"We don't know each other well enough to talk about that" Calum says, and his voice sounds too cold even in his own ears. Michael's cheeky grin is back "Plus, I'm not one of those crazy teenagers that scream at everything you do, so you won't seduce me with one of your ridiculous smiles."

Michael smiles even wider and Calum closes his eyes a little, trying to kill him just with one look. 

It doesn't work.

"You don't like me at all, I can see" Michael says, Calum rolls his eyes one more time and he claps his hands a couple of times, slowly "I could fire you, but I'm not gonna do it. You're cute. I like you."

Michael gets up and gets out of the room, leaving a confused and angry Calum behind him.

 

\----

 

Calum has to go out with Michael a week later.

They meet up at the studio and Michael is wearing sunglasses even though the day is clouded and there's no cheeky smile in his face.

They walk around the city next to each other but not talking and when the paparazzis spot them and start to take photos, Calum feels how an strange anxiety starts to oppress his chest. 

He looks at Michael trying to ask for help without using words, because he's not used to be in the spotlight, he doesn't know how he's supposed to act and his hands are already sweating, but Michael keeps looking at the floor and acting like Calum doesn't even exist.

Calum really wants to punch him in the face.

When they've been walking for around a hour, they get into a black car with black windows and Calum has had enough.

"You could at least talk to me, I'm here to clean up the mess you made last night" he says looking at Michael with a frown, because he can guess that those sunglasses are hiding a hungover and maybe something more.

"You don't know anything, so shut the fuck up" Michael mumbles and looks out the window of the car, trying to ignore Calum again.

But the guy that's talking on the radio says that "the music star Michael Clifford got into a fight again last night".

Calum looks at Michael with his eyebrow raised.

Michael flips him off.

Calum smiles.

 

\----

 

Later that day, when the sky is already dark black and Calum is cuddled up in his bed, someone in the television says that Michael Clifford has been seen walking around Sydney with an unknown guy who could be a friend or a lover.

Calum watches himself on the screen, walking beside Michael, his face paler than usual. They just walk, they don't look at each other, not once.

Calum doesn't understand how they can think that he's possibly Michael's new lover. All he can watch on the screen is coldness.

He wants to break his television and kill all the stupid people that work on it.

He also wants to kill Michael Clifford.

But above all that, he wants to kill himself for signing that stupid contract in the first place.

 

\----

 

His boss yells at him and Calum wants to kill him too.

He's sitting in the same room where he signed his contract and his boss is sat in front of him. The scene seems to be the same as that day, but Calum has no paper to sign and he isn't holding a pen in his shaky hand.

And his boss doesn't have a fake smile planted on his face, his lips form a straight line and he's frowning.

"I don't pay you to do what you did yesterday" he says for the fifth time in twenty minutes, and Calum really wants to scream back at him that he hasn't payed him yet, he has been working for a week.

But he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to get fired. He bites his lips and wonders why his boss is yelling just at him and not at Michael too.

"You're supposed to look like you're in love, you need to talk to Michael, hold hands and all those things" Richard keeps going and Calum just sits there, with his bottom lip between his teeth and his nails sunk into the palm of his own hands.

When he gets out of the room, Michael is leaning on the wall outside, he looks at Calum grinning and Calum wants to die when he feels how his cheeks start to burn.

"Why did he only yell at me? Fuck, it's your fault too" he says looking at the floor.

Michael laughs at loud and walks closer to Calum.

"He wanted to yell at me, but I don't give a fuck about what he has to say" he lifts an arm and pinches Calum's cheek "He can fire you, but he can't fire me"

Calum pushes his hand away roughly and starts to walk away from Michael, but he can hear his amused laugh sounding in his ears the rest of the day and his cheeks don't stop burning.

 

\----

 

They have to walk around the city again a few days later.

This time, Michael isn't wearing sunglasses and he buys Calum an icecream, so he thinks that things are going pretty well.

But then Michael reaches for Calum's hand. He holds Calum's hand in his and intertwines their fingers when the paparazzis appear, and Calum doesn't know why, but his hand is itching.

They walk like that for a while, eating their ice creams in silence, when Michael starts to tighten his grip in Calum's hand, to the point it hurts. Calum looks at him and sees a playful little smile in his lips. 

He knows what he's doing and Calum wants to kill him.

Calum bites his lips trying to not scream in pain and he sinks his nails in Michael's skin, making him let go of his hand.

He looks at Michael again. He's still smiling and leans closer to Calum, whispering in his ear.

"We're surrounded by paps, do you want Richard to get mad at you again?" 

The he holds Calum's hand one more time.

Calum's cheeks are red again and Michael keeps smiling.

 

\----

 

It's a Sunday morning and Calum is lying on the couch eating cereals when he watches it.

He appears in the screen one more time, walking with an ice cream in one hand and Michael's hand in the other.

Then the screen shows Michael in front of a bunch of microphones, smiling shyly and saying that "yeah, that guy is maybe more than just a friend".

Calum throws a pillow at the television screen. 

He spends the day frowning and trying to forget how his heart has stopped when Michael said that he was more than just a friend.

 

\----

 

The first time he has to kiss Michael is at the MTV Video Music Awards. 

He has to kiss him because they've seen together already four times and they just held hands and it doesn't look like they love each other and Calum wants to murder Richard.

Michael is performing in the show and when he gets out of the stage, Calum is waiting for him at the end of the stairs. As Richard told him, he grabs Michael's arm and tugs at it, pulling Michael against him. He bumps their lips together, he knows it doesn't look romantic in any way, it actually looks like an accident, and he wants to pull away as quickly as he has crashed their lips together, but he knows he can't. 

So he stays still, keeps his lips pressed against Michael's in a chaste kiss as he listens to the paparazzis taking photos and ignores the slow burn in his belly. Michael's lips are rough and chapped against his own, and they aren't moving, as if he's trying to tell Calum that he doesn't want that kiss either.

But when they part, Michael is smiling.

He leans in again and whispers into Calum's ear. 

"Gross."

Calum could kill him right there.

But he controls himself just because they're surrounded by cameras. And he lets Michael drag him to the backstage.

"Why did you say it was gross?" He says almost screaming once they're alone "I know you didn't want to kiss me, I didn't want that kiss either, but I consider myself a pretty good kisser."

"Wow, so much ego there" Michael replies, he's giving his back to Calum, but he swears he can hear his smirk "I didn't say it was gross because you're a bad kisser. I said it was gross simply because I don't like boys" he shrugs and pulls his sweaty t-shirt over his head, throwing it at a corner of the room before turning around to look at Calum.

And yeah, there's a smirk on his lips.

"Why do you need a fake boyfriend then? Why don't you pick some girl instead of me?" Calum asks, curious.

"I don't know if you noticed that it's a different girl what I take to my bedroom every single night" Michael turns around again and starts searching for a clean t-shirt "They think that if the media thinks that I'm gay, the rumors will stop."

Calum looks at him, how he walks around the backstage, messing everything up while looking for a t-shirt that seems to have disappeared.

"And don't you feel uncomfortable?" Michael stops at that question and looks at him with an eyebrow raised "I mean, you don't like boys... So, you must feel uncomfortable with me."

"Why would I?" He shrugs and his eyebrows meet in a frown. He isn't smiling anymore and it's weird "Is this a way to ask me if I have something against gay people? Because no" He starts searching for that t-shirt while he keeps talking "I love cats, but I can't say nothing against you for liking dogs better. It's practically the same thing. Plus, who am I to judge?"

He remains in silence then and Calum doesn't know what to answer.

He thinks that this is the first time that he doesn't want to punch Michael for saying something stupid.

And he smiles a little when he realizes that Michael remembers that he loves dogs.

 

\----

 

"I'm so tired of you" Calum says, letting himself fall in the back seat of the taxi.

"Shut up" Michael groans, with his eyes closed and his head resting against the window.

In that moment, the driver starts the car and Michael moves forward involuntary, his head falls over his shoulder and he giggles.

"You're so disgusting" Calum complains, pushing Michael's head to make him rest it against the window again "I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, not your fucking nanny"

"Shut up Cal, you love me" mumbles Michael, giggling again.

"Oh yeah, I love you for making me come to America just to kiss you after your shitty performance, and I love you for making me leave my comfy hotel bed just to pick you up because you're fucking drunk and you almost beat up some random guy. Again." Calum looks away from the giggling mess that's Michael right now and takes a deep breath "Yes. I love you so fucking much, man."

"It's not my fault" Michael says, and he speaks so quietly Calum needs to lean in a little to understand him "It's Richard the one that made you come. I'm perfectly fine without you, I've always been."

Calum swallows hard, because he needs to get rid of that uncomfortable knot that just appeared in his throat at Michael's words and pretend that them didn't affect him at all.

"Yes, you're so fine. You can't even support your head straight over your shoulders, but you're fine."

Michael giggles again, it makes that knot to grow up in Calum's throat.

"Why do you care about me?" Michael asks, a little louder this time, and he moves his head slightly and opens his eyes a little to look at Calum through his eyelids.

"Because it's part of my job and I need the money" Michael laughs at his answer and closes his eyes again.

Calum hates Michael more than ever. 

And he hates himself.

He hates himself because his boss just called him half an hour ago to tell him that Michael was drunk and he would probably get in trouble, so Calum would have to face some curious paps tomorrow, but he never asked him to go and pick Michael up.

Richard never asked him to take care of Michael, but Calum is there anyways, making sure that Michael gets in bed safe.

And caring about Michael isn't part of his job.

He wants to punch himself in the face.

 

\----

 

They're in Sydney again and it's the fourth time that Calum has pressed the bell when Michael opens the door. He stands there, rubbing the sleep off of his eyes with the back of his hand.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he says, his voice rough because of the sleep.

"It's 3pm Michael, for God's sake" Calum rolls his eyes, and pushes Michael, getting into his house even though the other guy didn't invite him in "What the hell did you do last night?" he asks when Michael closes the door and turns around to look at him.

"What are you talking about Calum?" Michael pitches his nose as he closes his eyes tightly.

Calum notices then that Michael is just wearing a pair of sport pants, hanging low in his hips, he has no t-shirt on, his hair is a bunch of lilac spikes out of control and there's soft stubble on his cheeks and chin. 

He ignores how the sight of him lights something inside his cheeks and crosses his arms over his chest, forcing himself to stay angry.

"Did you get drunk again?" 

Michael sighs, his shoulders falling, and he walks closer to Calum.

"Why the fuck do you care so much?" 

"Because there were like 20 paparazzis in my door when I woke up this morning!" Calum screams taking a step forward.

"Well, yeah, I drunk last night, so what?" Michael yells back, his cheeks are bright and the sleep has left his eyes completely "You're not my fucking nanny, you yourself said that, stop caring so much!"

"I care about the things you do that can affect me! I'm your fake boyfriend, did you forget that? And those fucking paps where asking me how I felt now that you had cheated on me. What the hell did you do, Michael?" Calum walks even closer and pushes Michael with his fists, making him take a step back.

He's so angry, they pay him to be Michael's boyfriend, not to be used how Michael pleases and he's tired of Richard's yells whenever something like this happens because it ends up being his fault, always.

"I just got drunk, I didn't do anything else, Calum!" Michael grabs Calum's wrists when he lifts them to hit him again, and drags him closer. Their faces are so close that Calum can count every blue spot in Michael's green eyes and suddenly is hard to breathe, Calum's lungs feel like they're filled with cold water "I didn't cheat on you. The media made that shit up, it's their work" Michael keeps talking, slowly this time, he isn't screaming anymore.

They just stand like that until Calum's breathe goes back to normal and Michael lets go of his wrists. He takes a step back, his eyes always locked with Calum's.

"Do you believe me?" Michael asks and Calum just looks at him for a few seconds wondering why he cares before he nods "Okay, leave my place now."

It hurts. 

Those words kind of hurt and Calum doesn't understand why, he just swallows and walks out of the place, and his head feels like it's going to explode at any time, just the same as his chest.

 

\----

 

Michael keeps getting drunk a lot, and there's one night where Calum gets drunk with him.

They're in a city far away from home and Calum doesn't even remember the name of it. Michael had a show earlier that day and after it the two of them went out and drunk a lot and ended up in Michael's hotel room, sat on the couch his bottles of beer in their hands.

"Today was fun" Michael mumbles before he takes a sip of his drink. Calum just nods and looks at the floor.

"I needed this, you know?" he says "Go out and disconnect for a night."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I need that all the time, as you can see" Michael laughs a little and rests his head in the backrest of the couch.

"Why?" Calum asks in a whisper.

"Why, what?" 

"Why do yu need to do this? You know, partying every night, get drunk almost every night" Calum explains, he bites the inside of his cheeks, hoping that Michael won't get mad with that question.

"My life's really stressing" he answers, keeping his eyes closed and breathing slowly "I'm always busy and on the spotlight. I need some kind of distraction" he opens one eyes to look at Calum, who keeps his gaze focussed in Michael's mouth and the movements his lips make when he talks "I know I didn't choose the best way to distract myself, but the parties, the alcohol... It all brings back that rush I felt when my career started. That electrifying excitement."

He closes his eye again when Calum frowns at his words.

"But it's not as bad as it was before" Calum points out, frowning, because Michael keeps getting drunk, but he doesn't get into fights and he doesn't hook up with random people anymore "Has something changed?"

"Yeah" Michael mumbles, his voice sounds soft "You're in my life now. You distract me of all the pressure. It's like, you're that excitement that I was looking for."

Calum doesn't answer, he doesn't know how to. He stays there, looking at Michael as he falls asleep, feeling how his heart is trying to run out of his chest, wishing for this whole scene not to be a dream of his drunken mind.

 

\----

 

The day they go back to Sydney Calum just wants to stay in bed, and that's what he does, until when he checks his twitter at three in the morning and everyone is talking about Michael Clifford and a fight.

He doesn't think it twice, he sends a message to Michael asking him where he is, and when he gets a response, he puts on a hoodie, grabs his keys and drives to that pub.

When he spots Michael, who is sat at the bar with four empty glasses in front of him, he grabs his arm and tugs him toward the bathroom.

He locks the door when the both of them are inside and turns around to look at the singer.

Michael is facing Calum, leaning against the sink, grabbing it with his hands, as if he's afraid of falling down if he doesn't have anything to hold into.

"What did you do this time?" Calum asks, his voice loud and high, almost screaming. Michael doesn't answer, he just looks at him with his half closed eyes and a confused expression in his face "They're talking about you all over twitter. Did you hit someone? They say you got into a fight."

Calum walks closer to Michael, but he just pushes him away.

"Stop, go away" Michael whispers, grabbing the sink again and looking at the floor, his lilac hair hides his green eyes "I don't want someone like you around me."

"What?" Calum says, and he's trying to keep his voice normal, he really is, but Michael's words hurt too much and it cracks at the end "What do you mean?"

"I'm tired of you" Michael keeps his head down, as if he thinks that Calum doesn't deserve to be looked at "I'm tired of your superiority, this whole 'you're ruining your reputation' thing" his words are slurred, the amount of alcohol in his system doesn't let him talk properly "You think you're better than me but you're just the same. You're selling yourself. They pay you for this."

"No one has told me to come here tonight" Calum mumbles confused. It's like he hasn't used his voice in years, his throat burns when he speaks.

"I'm not talking about tonight, it's always. They pay you to spend time with me, to be my boyfriend" Michael looks up at Calum, but his eyes are unfocused, his lips dry and his face blank "You're not much better than what I am, you're practically a whore."

And that's it.

That's when Calum recognizes that he's fucked up.

The words hits him like bullets and the tears appear instantly behind his eyes. He holds them in, though. He tells himself that Michael is just saying all these things because he's drunk.

But they say drunk people never lies.

He turns around and unlocks the door. He leaves the pub running because he doesn't allow himself to cry in front of Michael. He drives with his vision blurred because of the tears.

He doesn't hate Michael, he hates himself for letting Michael's words get to him this much.

He hates himself because a few weeks ago he would flip him off and answer him with something as painful. 

He hates himself because he knows that he's in too deep and he doesn't know how to get out.

 

\----

 

The next day, Michael's in Calum's apartment at 10 am with a pack of donuts in one hand and an apologetic smile in his pink lips.

"Fuck off" Calum murmurs, sitting on the couch and praying for Michael to not notice that his eyes are redder than usual.

"Okay, I know I fucked everything up" Michael says, resting the donuts in the table and standing in front of Calum "But I was really mad. You always believe the rumors before believing me, Calum. And it kinda hurts."

"That doesn't give you the right to call me whore" Calum looks at him hoping to have a cold look in his eyes.

Michael licks his lips, takes a deep breath and tries again.

"I'm sorry. I like messing around with you but yesterday I crossed the line, I know it and I'm sorry. I really am."

"You don't need to be, really" Calum sighs "You're right, I'm selling myself."

"But you're not selling your body, I didn't get the sex yet" Michael says.

"Yet?" Calum looks at him raising and eyebrow.

"C'mon, you wish you could fuck me, I know" Michael walks closer to the couch.

"You're a fucking twat" Calum knows what he's trying to do, he wants to drag Calum's mind away from the idea of him selling himself, he wants to distract him. 

And Calum is letting him.

Michael sits on Calum's lap, straddling his hips. He buries his face in Calum's neck and breathes hotly against it.

"You want me, don't you?" he whispers and Calum feels his whole body in tension.

"What the hell are you doing, you idiot" Calum puts his hands over Michael's shoulders and pushes him, but he's not really trying to get him off of him, he could if he wanted. 

But he doesn't really want to and he doesn't understand why. He just knows that he hasn't had Michael this close before and he smells pretty good.

"C'mon Cal, just enjoy the moment" Michael whispers and he kisses Calum softly right behind his ear.

Calum's breath hitches in his throat and a shiver runs through his whole body. He feels Michael smiling proudly against the skin of his neck and he really wants to punch him, but he also wants him to keep kissing his neck.

"Michael" Calum sighs, and pushes him again, making him look at him in the eyes "Stop fucking around with me, I know you don't like boys."

"Maybe I've changed my mind" Michael says and goes back to kiss Calum's neck.

He licks a stripe from his collarbone to the back of his ear and breaths over it, Calum needs to bite down his bottom lip to stop the moan that's forming in the back of his throat.

Michael starts to kiss and bite his neck, making it feel hot and bruised, Calum puts his hands in Michael's hips and tries to keep his breath steady, but then Michael moves on his lap, he pushes his hips down against Calum's, and Calum can't hold the moan any longer. Michael laughs against his neck and Calum wants to punch himself for being so weak.

Michael keeps moving, faster every second that goes by, one of his hands in Calum's shoulder and the other one sunk in his black hair, and he's too close, Calum can feel all of him, from his noise rubbing against his neck, till his dick, getting harder into his pants, grinding against Calum's, making his eyes roll at the pleasure.

Calum feels hot all over, he feels hot and sweating and he wants to take all of his clothes off, but his mind is too overwhelmed, he's not sure what's going on and the pleasure is clouding everything, so the only thing he is able to do is slipping his hands under Michael's t-shirt.

Calum strokes Michael's soft skin slowly, he runs his hands through his back while Michael keeps moving and he can't get enough, so he lifts his hips to meet Michael's movements and when he hears Michael groaning on his ear, he can swear that it's the most beautiful noise that he has ever heard, but he will never admit it out loud.

Michael grinds down against him specially hard and Calum whines, he whines and breathes out:

"You're not gonna make me come on my jeans."

Michael pulls at his hair.

"Look at me" he says, his voice low and rough.

Calum rests his head over Michael's shoulder, refusing to look at him in the eyes, he already feels vulnerable and ashamed for letting Michael domine him like this, he wants to put a bit of a fight, but Michael pulls at his hair again, harder his time, and he grinds faster against him and Calum pulls his head back.

Michael rests his forehead against Calum's and locks their eyes, breathing hard over his lips, but never kissing them.

"You know you're gonna come in your jeans" he whispers.

Then he moves his hips harder than ever and Calum pushes his head back out of breath, Michael attaches his lips to his neck again, biting down, marking him, and Calum comes. He comes with a loud groan and his nails sinking into the soft skin of Michael's back.

A white silence fills Calum's ears and suddenly his whole body feels numb. He hears absolutely nothing during a few seconds until the sound of his own heartbeats mixed with Michael's giggle replaces the silence.

"I can't believe I made you come in your jeans so quickly" Michael says between giggles, he's still on top of Calum, with his head resting over his shoulder "And I didn't even kiss you."

"I fucking hate you" mumbles Calum, but he's smiling, because he heard Michael screaming his name at some point above the white silence. 

Michael came in his jeans too, and he feels pretty proud.

 

\----

 

"Can you take the picture, please?" 

Calum takes the camera that the short blonde girl is handing him and looks at Michael with his eyebrows raised, but he just grabs the girl by her waist and smiles for the picture, sticking his tongue out.

Calum sighs and takes the picture, then he handles the camera back to the girl and he almost flips her of when she thanks him.

He's supposed to be Michael's boyfriend, not Michael's personal photographer. 

They're walking around London this time, well, not actually walking, they're standing in the door of their hotel because Michael stops with every fan that's waiting there, and that doesn't bother Calum, he finds this really nice from Michael, what annoys him it's that he's the one taking every photo and asking questions about if Michael's good in bed and trying to ignore every insult that some fans scream at him.

He tries to be nice to them, but he can't. He thinks that if someone else asks him how good is Michael at kissing, he's going to kill every single person that's in there, including Michael.

Also, he doesn't know how good Michael is, they just kissed once and Michael described it as gross, and the other time that they were close to kiss, he ended up coming in his jeans. Every time he remembers it, his ears burn and he wants to die. 

"Okay, sorry girls, you've been really nice, but I have to leave now" Michael says with a gentle smile and Calum rolls his eyes at how good he can act as a nice person when he wants to "C'mon, Cal" he wraps an arm around Calum's waist and guides him inside the hotel.

"We were supposed to walk around the city, not to spend 40 fucking minutes in the goddamn door" Calum says when they get to the elevator, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sorry for being nice to my fans" he answers raising his hands.

"Oh yeah, you pretend to be someone kind really well. I want to go out there and tell them how you truly are" Calum mumbles, looking at the ground.

"And how am I?" Michael asks, with a curious light in his green eyes.

"A world famous singer who thinks that he can do what he wants, gets drunk a lot, fucks a different girl every night and gets into random fights" Calum says coldly, looking at him with his eyes half closed "You're pretty shitty, I already told you that the day we met"

"C'mon Calum, you know I'm not like that anymore" Michael shakes his head and the curiousness in his eyes is replaced by outrage and a little bit of hurt "The only thing that I keep doing is drinking, and I don't think that's a really bad thing"

The elevator stops then and Michael gets out, walking fast. Calum follows him shuffling his feet.

"Getting drunk every night is a bad thing" Calum mutters, and he wants to say it with an angry tone, but his voice comes out worried.

Michael just sighs and flips him off, without even looking at him.

"Okay, fine. I'm just mad because I had to take a lot of photographs of you with girls that, honestly, I don't know what they see in you and I had to stand stupid questions and insults and-" Michael stops walking and Calum walks into him, hitting his back "Sorry" he mumbles taking a step back.

Michael gets the key out of the pocket of the hoodie he has on and unlocks the door of his bedroom.

He looks at Calum before getting in.

He runs his eyes up and down Calum's body and reaches out a hand, slipping one finger in the waistband of Calum's jeans. He pulls at it, making Calum walk towards him, leaving their faces really close. 

Calum can feel Michael's breathing on his neck and he can listen his own blood running faster than usually, probably heating up his cheeks.

"Do you want me to make it up to you? Do you want me to apologise for my fans being rude to you?" he whispers in his ear, there's an amused tone in his voice, almost as if he's mocking of Calum, but his hand pulls him a little bit closer to his body and he strokes Calum's neck with his nose.

Calum knows that he should push him away. He should push him and yell at him and run to his room. 

But he stays still, trying to maintain his breathing under control.

Michael doesn't wait for an answer, he pushes the door open and drags Calum into his room. He closes the door behind them and slams Calum against the first wall he finds.

Michael's mouth is in his neck one more time and he shoves his hand into Calum's pants.

Calum comes in his jeans again.

He doesn't know what the fuck is wrong with him and he fucking hates Michael Clifford.

 

\----

 

Richard makes Calum go to another awards ceremony, he avoids the red carpet, but he has to kiss Michael after he gets the Best Live Performance award.

Michael gets off of the stage and he has a true wide smile in his lips and the green of his eyes is shining and this time Calum doesn't completely hates the kiss. 

He brings Michael closer by his waist and connects their lips softly. Michael lets out a little noise and cups Calum's cheek with the hand that's not holding the trophy. His lips move gently against Calum's and it's not a rough and awkward kiss like the first time, it's kind and experimental.

It feels like the two of them were waiting for a moment like this and it's slow and careful, it makes Calum forget about the cameras around them and the fact that they're standing in front of thousands of people, it makes something tickles in his belly and he tries to ignore the feeling.

Then Michael's pulling away and the green in his eyes has turned almost black and takes Calum's hand and drags him out of the place.

Michael gets into a bathroom and locks the door. He pushes Calum against it and and presses himself close against him, looking at him right in the eyes.

They stay like that for a moment. 

Calum takes a deep breath and then lets it out, it comes out shakily. He closes his eyes tightly and feels. 

He feels Michael's eyes focused on his face. He feels Michael's hot breathing over his lips. He feels Michael's chest against his own, rising and falling without rhythm, but matching Calum's own chest somehow. He feels his hands in his waist, squeezing it lightly, and he wonders for a moment where the trophy is, but he really doesn't care right now.

He feels his neck covered in sweat and a strange knot in the end of his throat. He feels his heart drumming inside of his chest and in his head. He feels the palms of his hands, resting in Michael's shoulders, burning. He feels his knees weak and his mouth dry.

He thinks that it's amazing that someone can make him feel this way with just a kiss and he hates that that someone is Michael.

He opens his eyes and Michael is still looking at him, and Calum stops thinking and does what his body is dying to do. He puts a hand in the back of Michael's neck and kisses him again, harder this time.

Michael kisses back instantly, and it seems that all the kindness and care and gentleness is forgotten. He kisses Calum roughly and biting his lips, as if he can't get enough.

Michael's hands are all over Calum's body, leaving his skin more sensitive in every place he touches, and then Michael's t-shirt is gone and he's pulling Calum's jeans and underwear down and the only thing that Calum is thinking right now is that, at least, he isn't coming in his jeans this time.

Calum walks off of his jeans and underwear when Michael pulls away to take his own off, then he sits in the bowl and gestures Calum to come closer, but Calum can't move.

He can't move because Michael is sat in front of him completely naked, his hair messed up, his cheeks flushed, his lips swollen and his dick hard and pink and bright.

Everything is too overwhelming and Calum feels the sudden need to cover himself and run out of there, and he supposes that his fear is written all over his face, because Michael reaches out a hand and grabs Calum's wrist, pulling him closer gently, sitting him on his lap, Calum's legs straddling Michael, so they're facing each other.

Michael doesn't talk, but he slows everything down, he leans in and kisses Calum's chest softly, as if his scared that a rough move would make Calum run away. He kisses his chest and his neck and his cheeks and slips his hands under Calum's t-shirt, the only piece of clothing that he has still on.

When Michael hands rubs sweetly Calum's back, Calum knows that he doesn't have to freak out, because it's not like he has fallen in a red carpet in front of hundreds of people, he's just with Michael and he knows that Michael will never do something that Calum doesn't want to do.

And, right now, Calum wants everything. 

 

So he leans down and kisses Michael on the lips again, and the lust and the passion and everything come back fast and Calum lest himself feel.

He lets himself feel Michael's gentleness in their kiss, Michael's kindness in his hands running up and down Calum's back, Michael's excitement in his heart beating against Calum's chest.

He grinds down and moans when their erections rub against each other, and moans one more time when Michael sinks his nails in his back.

"Do you need me to prepare you" Michael asks against his lips in a husky whisper.

Calum shakes his head sharply and grinds his hips down even harder. 

He just needs Michael.

Right now.

So he lifts in Michael's lap with a hand in his shoulder and helps himself with the other, takings Michael's dick and bringing it close to his entrance, and he sits down again, slowly, taking Michael in.

It hurts, not too much, but it hurts. But it doesn't matter because Michael has his head pulled back and his eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted and it's beautiful.

Calum stays still during a few seconds, trying to make the feeling of Michael inside him familiar, trying to turn that slow burn into something nice. 

He attaches his lips to Michael's neck, he lick the sweat that's covering it and kisses he way up to Michael's chin, biting down. Michael opens his eyes, he looks at him through his eyelashes and there's no green in his eyes, all he can see is black and lust and desire and Calum starts to move.

He lifts himself up holding in Michael's shoulders, then moves down again and Michael whines, closing his eyes one more time.

Calum hides his face in Michael's shoulder as he speeds up, his grip is tight and he knows that he's letting marks where he's holding, bur he doesn't care, not when Michael's hands are in his hips helping him as his nails sink into his soft skin there.

Calum keeps moving faster and faster and Michael lifts his hips up to match his rhythm, he hits that stop inside of Calum and makes him scream. 

His hands start to shake and he tries to stop them by grabbing Michael's shoulders harder, but it doesn't work when Michael leans to kiss him again, it's messy and their teeth crash together and Michael bites Calum's lip way too hard, but it's perfect and it's what pushes Calum over the limit. 

He comes with a groan that Michael swallows and Michael follows him soon, filling Calum and making him come a second time.

Then everything's dizzy. 

Calum feels numb and worn out and he doesn't know what just happened. Why it happened.

He rests his head in Michael's shoulder, breathing heavily and trying to stop the bathroom from spinning around him. 

Calum's t-shirt feels wet and rough against his sensitive skin, Michael's hands resting in his waist are pressing the spots where he sank his nails minutes before and it hurts, there's come over Calum and Michael's bodies and Michael is still inside Calum, but Calum doesn't care.

He just keeps his head in Michael's shoulder and closes his eyes. 

He hates himself a little for letting this happen. Just a little.

"Do you still hate me?" Michael asks in his ear, voice broken.

"More than ever."

Michael giggles.

 

\----

 

There's this party in some city where Calum goes with Michael because Richard tells him to.

Calum is really bored and he's just walking around the crowded pub trying to find Michael when he bumps into someone.

The strange he just bumped into turns around, barely able to stand still in his own feet, with his cheeks red and his eyes unfocused.

"What's wrong with you?" he screams at Calum, leaning in and talking too close to Calum's face. His breath smells like alcohol "Why the hell did you push me?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it" Calum mumbles and tries to walk away, knowing that this scene just screams problems, but the stranger grabs his arm and doesn't let him go.

"Who do you think you are to push me and then run?" he pushes Calum's shoulder, making him take a step back to not fall down.

"I said I didn't mea-" Calum starts to apologize again, but then someone pushes the guy and he falls on the floor, looking around taken aback.

"Don't you dare to touch him again!" someone screams and Calum looks away from the stranger to find Michael standing there, with his eyes wide open and his hands curled into fists "Do you hear me? Who gave you the right to treat him like that?" he screams and lifts an arm leaning down, prepared to hit the guy.

Calum reacts then, he runs toward Michael and grab his arm. Michael looks at him frowning and tries to release his arm, but Calum tightens his grip.

"No Michael, stop! Don't you dare to hurt him, he didn't do anything to me!" Calum screams, looking at Michael right in the eyes.

Michael seems to see something important inside his eyes, something that makes him put his arm down.

"I saw him pushing you" he whispers.

"Yes, he did, but I'm fine and he's just drunk" Calum says and he lets go of Michael's arm when he makes sure that the older guy is calmed down "I can't believe you were going to beat him up" he whispers, his voice sounds disappointed, and he turns around to leave the place.

He doesn't notice that Michael has followed him until he's about to take a taxi to go back to the hotel and a hand in his arm stops him.

"What?" he snaps, turning around.

"Oh, c'mon Calum, you're overreacting" Michael says rolling his eyes.

"Overreacting?" Calum almost yells, his eyebrows raising "You almost hit a guy, Michael! I thought you had changed" he shakes his head and turns around to start walking again.

"I can't believe you just said that" Michael says, and his voice is cold and thick and Calum can hear the hurt in it and he stops. He doesn't turn around to look at him, but he stops "I've changed, you know that. He was being rude to you and I couldn't stand it, that's all"

"You almost punch him, Michael. You almost get into a fight as easily as you did a few months ago. That's not changing" Calum is not yelling anymore, but his voice is cold and his shoulders are tense.

He has his hands curled into fists and his nails are sinking in his skin, it makes him feel calmer somehow, but there's anger running through his body. He's angry because he's disappointed and it hurts and he really believed that Michael had changed.

"Calum" Michael sighs, and he's closer now, Calum almost can feel his body heat against his back "Calum, look at me, please"

And Calum does it.

He turns around because, even though his angry, the pain in Michael's voice hurts a million times more than the feel of disappointment. So he turns around and bites his lower lip when he faces Michael, eyes shining and hurt.

"I did change. I've been a month without getting in a fight and it's because of you, why can't you see that?" 

"Do you think that's enough?" Calum sighs and his shoulders fall down.

Suddenly he feels tired. He's just tired of pretending and of being on the spotlight and of caring about Michael all the time and of taking care of him. He's tired of his mixed feelings, he's tired of wanting to punch Michael in the face one second and wanting to hug him the next second.

He's exhausted.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore" he breathes out, his voice cracks at the end and Michael's eyes are open wide in panic "I think I'm gonna talk with Richard and end all of this, I can't... I don't know if I-"

"Shut up" Michael says, and it comes out as a whisper, but sounds confident, strong. Calum stops talking instantly "You can't do this to me" Michael keeps talking, raising his voice a little more this time, he runs a hand through his face, rubbing his eyes, and he looks just as tired as Calum feels "You just can't,Calum. I've changed, I don't sleep around, I don't get into fights, I don't even drink anymore! I've changed, I've changed because of you and you know it and you can't say that you can't do this anymore and leave, because if you leave I'm gonna fall again"

Michael breathes heavily and Calum notices that he has started to shake. He raises a hand and rests it in Michael's arm, trying to show him that he's still there, that he didn't go anywhere, not yet. He tries to calm him down but it is not working and Michael keeps talking and shaking.

"I'm gonna fall again and this time will hurt even more. This time it will be worse. Can't you see that you're the only thing that's keeping me sane? I almost hit a random guy there" he points at some place in his back, but he doesn't take his eyes off of Calum, the green is shining more than ever "I almost hit him and I didn't because you stopped me, you always stop me. You're the only thing that's keeping me grounded and you can't just walk away, because if you do I'm gonna fall in the shit I was into before and it will be so much worse. You can't- You can't leave me, Calum."

His voice breaks at the end. His voice breaks and he breaks inside with it.

Calum can see it, he sees the pieces falling one by one behind his eyes and he needs to do something. There's this pressure inside his chest, that knot that grows up until he feels like he can't breath, he can't even swallow. It hurts and it makes him want to do something for Michael, he needs to do something because seeing Michael fall apart makes him fall with him. Piece by piece.

So he tugs at Michael's arm and pulls him closer. He crashes their lips together and wraps his arms around Michael's back. 

It isn't even a proper kiss, it's just Calum's lips pressed up against Michael's mouth, trying to show him that he's there and he's not planning on leaving any time soon. It's Calum's hands running through Michael's back, trying to hold on the pieces together, trying to keep him up.

"I know" Calum whispers with his mouth still against Michael "I know that you've changed and I'm so proud of you and I'm not going anywhere"

Michael lets out a soft noise, something between desperation and relief, and he kisses Calum properly. 

He curls his arms around Calum's neck and brings him closer, he moves his lips softly and slips his tongue inside Calum's mouth and kisses him like he never did, as if he would really fall down if Calum leaves.

Calum pulls away after a few seconds, maybe a minute, because after all they're still in the street and Michael is famous and if someone sees them they will be in every magazine the next day.

So he stops kissing Michael, but he keeps him close to his body and rests his forehead in Michael's shoulder.

"So, this is a real thing now?" he mumbles, his voice muffed against the fabric of Michael's t-shirt.

There's a hot fear running through his whole body, making his eyes burn and his cheeks heat up. He's afraid of Michael's answer, even after listening to all the things he said before, he's afraid that Michael doesn't want him. 

But Michael laughs softly and runs a hand through Calum's black hair.

"If you want it to be, yeah" he breathes out and Calum bites down a smile.

"I need to tell Richard that he doesn't have to pay me anymore, then"

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave comments telling me what you think about this, it would make me so happy <3


End file.
